Two Mother's Days and a Funeral

Today is Mother's day in Mexico. Its always May 10th the date doesn't change like in the United States, Its also the first day without my grandmother and its hitting my mother hard even if she tries to hide it. Yesterday she visited her tomb, left her flowers and visited her house as well. I am worried. My mother says she is beginning to accept my grandmother's death. However she continues to wear black. She pretexts that its a promise she made to my grandmother to me it looks more like depression. Out of the blue she still gets sad, and she also constantly talks about things should of or would of done for my grandma but couldn't do. Its not that bad all the time I try to jokingly or involuntarily talk about the good things the happy times but it doesn't work. There are times I don't know how to talk to my mother anymore. I am afraid she will fall back into one of her depressive moods. She smiles all the time and pretends shes happy but I know her and she isn't. All this stress is also taking its tool. my mother has difficulty eating, her nerves are shot, and her allergies are rampant.

We as a family need counseling but with the inertia of life we haven't made time for it This situation makes it hard for my mother to keep her job and I am having the most difficult time finding a job, the last one I had if you could call it a job was a fiasco. due to my disability and most importantly my transportation issues I can't find one that would meet my needs and abilities. Sice my grandmother's Illness and later after her death we have been flat broke.And when I say flat I mean flat. Our side of the family picked up the costs and myy mom was the one that stood by her side and to care of her. My aunt and cousins instead of helping made our life miserable. By first not doing anything and later by lying and stealing To find an extra dollar in my purse made me so happy the other day.

Before I left I gave my mother her Mother's Day kiss and a hug. I was going to give her a card, but I woke up really late and it barley gave me enough time ti get dressed and ready for school and to talk to yet another social worker about my precarious work situation. As usual the social worker acted like one and gave me no solutions but yes a list of problems.

I will give my mother her card today and her bigger gift on Sunday. All I can do so far is be by her side and be strong. I'm glad that we didn't call Mother's Day off I will also continue to try o brighten my mother's days. I hope my brother doesn't forget to call her today or at least on Sunday. He left for college around the time my grandma became really ill and that made things worse. My bother even apologized for leaving. My mother being the loving person that she is understood but that didn't help her anemic state at all.

I will make the best of this Mother's Day. Enjoy her while you have her. To all of you despite it all ... Happy Mother's Day